Dainty Diva
Friday, March 30, 2007
okie.. since Miss brenda had expose me, i admit that i really wear shorts and tees to school almost every day, But it's already a blessing when i dun wear pajamas to sch!! Oh ya.. i'm proud that i'm putting in effort to style my hair, at least to "glue" them with some wax. At least this is an IMPROVEMENT from the daily hairband routine. I was just so lazy that i would push my fringe back with my hairband, and there i go, ready for school. Okie.. i feel somewhat guilty now. bleahh
I just couldn't stand wearing jeans for the whole day, esp when we are staying in school for more than 10 hours, and very often of not, more than 12 hours. My skin needs to breatheeeee... Well well.. but no skirt... for my 2 years in school, i think i wore skirt for less than 5 times (except for those formal wear lahz). I'm like a monkey who just can't sit still. I would fold my legs, rest my legs on the chairs. Therefore, i'm sure i look awful if i do that when i'm in a skirt. Enough of my excuse. i guess i will try to put in more effort to dress up a little. =_=""
okie.. I shall buy more decent shorts or maybe berms? haha.. maybe that would look a little more formal.
maybe i can try wearing a skirt tomolo.. haha sounds good..
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Time to take a deeeeep breath... rest for a night before goin on to the two reports.
My cough is getting from bad to worse and I'm like an ah ma who will cough every 30 seconds. Once in a while, i would cough my heart out as though i'm goin to get an asthma attack.
Hmm.. i realised sth. There are 3 type of friends in smu. One group is those friend who could only recognise me when i'm in my casual wear. i.e tees and jeans. Another type would be those who could only recognise me when I'm in formal wear. That's without specs, with make up on. The last type would be those that are closer to me and are able to recognize no matter what i become. Hahaha..
It's really weird when u say Hi to a person and took her so long to come to realise who am i. I'm juz like an idiot who just smiled at any passer-by. =_=""
Does it look a hell difference when i do make up and when i do not. Okie.. alot of people do say it made a huge difference. Well.. I'm just who i am. I just don't like to make up and feel uneasy for the whole day. Okie.. I'm plain lazy, but only when it comes to putting on make up and choosing my clothes. I'm not a ger.. I noe.. perhaps should just dress nicer so that the profs would take note of me, perhaps there would be a better grade for participation.
I realised i've changes many hairstyles over the past months.. haha.. let's have a review!!
hmm.. some of them indeed dun look like me lahz,...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Okie.. the stupid cold and my virus infection are not getting any better. In fact, they got worse. This means that i need make another trip down to the clinic. I wonder what's wrong manz.. this has been goin on for more than a week.
Well.. i think i better get back to my books. I'm studying far too slowly to be in time for the test.
Monday, March 26, 2007
After ample of sleep and rest over the weekend, my cough and cold dun seem to recover. Shit. Aiyo.. can my health stop giving me problems.
Maybe my health will slowly improve when I'm feeling happier. In this case, i shall stay happy.
Crap... i think i better hurry back to my books... another 6 more chapters to go. This is crazy...
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Our Hardwork.. Our baby...
Thanks to everyone.. We all made this possible..
Let's work hard for our report.. I love u all.. =)
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Instead of hugging my pillow, i'm now hugging the tissue box. Drawing tissue after tissue, to sniff and then throw into the already-opened rubbish bin. This is torturing. The mucus is thick, the phlegm is blocking my esophagus. I'm finding hard to breathe, as though my asthma is coming back anytime.
Just when i thought that nothing could be worse than what I am now, My nose has this tickling sensation and fresh red blood came dripping down on my shirt... Oh god... what did i do to offend u... Why muz u do this to me.... Urghh...
i tried to get rid of the mucus by blowing hard, so hard that i could feel my head feels so groggy after each forceful blow. I tried to get rid of those sticky phlegm by coughing and sucking hard to get them out. But i think all these doesn't work. I give up. I guess i better get back to my bed...
Got back the grades for the comms project. We did well, or rather the other 3 group members did well. It's me again. Perhaps it's me who pulled the grade down.
人常说“一山还有一山高." 在这里， 每一座山都比我高， 我被压在底下， 快喘不过气来了。
I dreamt that i'm well... sitting with them having dinner together. it seems like i alwayz dream of having dinner with them, as though everything is alrite again. But i noe, that would be hard, at least in the real life. In school, time is alwayz the thing that we hope to have more, but yet, we can't have them. We are alwayz racing against time, trying to complete one challenge after another. But the difference is, I'm always behind others. No matter in studies or even things such as presentation skills.
Had a small talk with some of my friends in smu, they said, there's no so called day or night in smu, there's no longer a difference between the day and the night. In the day, we are in school. In the night, we are still in school. It's not about the time management skills that many ppl talked about. It's just the number of projects and stuff we've got on hand. Quite true.
I guess things just got worse as the school's marketing effort paid off. It just makes the school more competitive, more inhumane and more "fake" people around.
Man is a selfish creature. We all have to admit that.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tiredness numbs my anxiety, the queasiness about speaking in front of the 10 guests and my profs. Perhaps, tiredness is a good thing after all. It somehow cushion me from the wild thoughts about what would happen. When I stood in front of the laptop with the screen at the back, all I could do is to speak what’s on my mind. Heck the script, heck the nice metaphors and quotes I’ve prepared.
Day after day, meetings after meetings and projects after projects. My sleep debt just can’t stop accumulating and the clock just refuse to pause for a few minutes to catch my breath. My fever is getting from bad to worse, I could feel that my organs are burning and my body is freezing. I guess I need to consult the doctor again as I ran out of the fever medicine. I need to take my medicine regularly to keep my temperature down and to continue with the project. Another 2 reports to go. I know all these will be ending soon. Very sooooon.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I'm going to miss that class for one day as i'm down with a fever due to virus attack. Weird.. The doctor said that antibiotics wouldn't help and just told me to get more rest and water. My throat used to be badly infected due to viral infection and now it's like a on and off thing.
I'm kinda blur now.. really need to get some rest on my bed as my whole body is aching and shivering with cold. Before i get to bed, i kind of remember what i dreamt of 2 days ago, just that i'm too busy to type it out here.
I dreamt of her.. she's no longer the weiling with the long hair. She had her hair cut short to slightly above shoulders with the chic look. She knows how to make up now and did a really good job in matching her necklace and her top. Could see that she's definitely a hot chic. *Smile* I couldn't get to see what she wears for the bottom as the 5 of us were sitting down and having lunch together. we were talking about sandra's baby, the usual gossips and teasings.
Just feel happy to see her in the dreams.. =)
The hell has started and i got home not long ago after lonnng projects meeting in school. But, we are still not the last to leave the school. How pathetic school life is..
I'm seriously having drastic mood change and intense craving for certain food. I guess i caught a cold and it's not a good time to catch a flu as there are so many things coming my way. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. No flu please... i dun wan to sound like a donald duck during presentation and screw my whole presentation up...
Time for me to get my ass back to the report. i need to get my sleeeeeep...
Friday, March 16, 2007
Every ger will dream to be the princess in the fairy tales that we once read. It always started with "Once upon a time" and ended with "happily ever after".
Since young, i told my mummy. "Mummy mummy, can i be the princess? Can i have the little crown they have and don in pretty dresses?" my mum would just tell me "All this are just stories, people made it up to bluff the kids. Money is hard-earned."
Well.. since i couldn't be a princess in the family, i dreamt to be one who is deeply in love with my prince, living happily ever after.
It's a dream. Reality is cruel, it shook you real hard to wake you up from the sweet and simple dream that we once had. It burst the sweet little bubble that we had always been blowing since young. A simple dream is never simple, coz life is too complicated for things to be simple.
Fairytale should remain as a fairytale, a story that trick the kids into believing that life is wonderful and that there would be someone out there who is more than willing to share your joy and unhappiness.
it gave me dreams and hopes that life is wonderful and my prince would be there to love me, care for me unconditionally. Love is illustrated to be beautiful, but it's not.
This is really bad... I'm damn freaking tired after almost 12 hours of class and project, but... I juz can't sleep.. i dunno why but i juz fall asleep...
oh goddd.. this is torturing..everything is just so wrong... I need love and more love..
that's not goin to happen..
I'm in a ridiculously bad mood.. I just don't feel like doing anything.. that includes eating.
I've no idea how i get the jumbo blue black on my knee... It's purplish.. i guess it will take at least a week to recover. I need to get a bloody pair of court shoes for my presentation on thursday..
i wan to sleep, i wan to get over this moody period.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
I'm feeling real down today. there's no way to make me smile. I'm juz feeling more lonely and vulnerable today. It's gonna be a long day for me in this cold and dark place.
My own bf asked, "where are you hiding?"
I'm not hiding anywhere, i'm just there. I'm juz sitting alone at one corner, trying hard to keep my eyes open and try to keep my head off the textbook. I'm there, just that you didn't put in effort in keeping a lookout for me.
he asked again, "why didn't you msg me?"
I don't know how to answer this complex question. I'm juz safe-guarding myself from being shot for disturbing him when he is tired and busy. The school work and projects are busy and stress enough. I don't need anymore problems. I'm just as tired as you are. So, i chose to leave u alone.
I'm not sure what I really want. For a moment, I want to be left alone, but i'm feeling lonely when i'm now alone. Maybe find someone to accompany me? But i don't feel like talking or entertaining anyone. Perhaps, that's where music comes into play. A shield that protects me from loneliness.
周笔畅-笔记
我看见天空很蓝
就像你在我身边的温暖
生命有太多遗憾
人越成长越觉得孤单
我很想飞多远都不会累
才明白爱的越深心就会越痛
我只想飞在我的天空飞
我知道你会在我身边
回忆的画面记录的语言
爱始终是你手中长长的线
载着我的想念飞过了地平线
你温暖的笑脸还一如从前
回忆的画面记录的语言
你说要我学着勇敢一点
偶尔哭红双眼你一定会了解
眼泪试我心中另一种完美
Happy birthday my girl... You will always stay pretty and sweet.. you'll be in my heart...
it is your birthday. Happy Birthday.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
There are many things that we took them for granted.
This entry might sound crude and disgusting to many, but I feel that’s part of my inner thoughts.
There’s a place that often took me in when I’m down, is always there to embrace me when I cry. It’s a place where I let my emotion runs wild, it’s a shelter when I tear. When I close that door behind me, I know, I’m safe emotionally and psychologically. I’ve shut stress, anxiety and work behind the “door”.
It’s the door of my house toilet. I might sound insane to have this weird thought. To me, It’s more than just a thought. This door seems to have separated me from the cruel life out there. What’s left in that small little space is privacy, serenity and peace. It’s a world of no worry. It’s a place where you know that the toilet bowl is there to take in whatever “shit” you give, and it would never ridicule you in any way.
This little space… Somewhere I can truly call it “my space”.
Brain overhauled... My brain dun seems to be functioning well now. It has been a hard day for my brain as i went for my driving lesson at 8.30am, then went for a project meeting which requires all of us to sit down and brainstorm for real interesting and feasible marketing plan. Then went for my lessson, after which i went for another meeting which requires us to come up with interesting communication plan and tap into the unconscious mind of the radio listeners.
Things are getting more and more challenging. It's something that's so taxing. It's something that drained my brain juice totally.
This is what happens when we ran out of ideas.. we need more "ideas"
and one is definitely not enough...
I better get my ass off the chair and get on to bed.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
In one of the email that my prof sent out, it states:
"An external marketing & creative agency is looking for 2 bright students to undertake an industry analysis."
"You should have at least a 3.7 & above average"
That's the definition of a bright students. She mentioned nothing else except that GPA has to be above 3.7. Well, that's the painful reality of life.
Saw taiyu in the train while i was on my way to school after driving lesson. As i looked back, i realized that my secondary sch friends speak in a very "authentic" chinese.. as in, they talk like taiwanese.. hahaa.. it's quite different from the environment i'm in now where people are speaking in english with slang.. sometimes, they could be real irritating..
time to get some rest before my project meeting starts..
Monday, March 12, 2007
I'm so dead...
Friday, March 09, 2007
I KO for more than 12 hours.. and when i woke up, i tot today was wednesday. Crap. It is a real rare occasion i've got anything on for friday. Things are never so easy in life, coz tomorrow will be a full project day in school and followed by rushing home for the birthday celebration.
i shall stop complaining and get back to my BP assignment as well as the test preparation.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Do you find this picture familiar? Yesh.. i'm cursed by statistics. It seems like most of my modules end up having statistic in them, combining the theories and the statistics stuff.. my god.. things used to be so simple, why muz we insist on making them more complex?
somehow.. I'm cursed by statistic.. i can seee i'm dying.. I've never like statistic. Never.. and i don't think i would ever like it..
pictures of me with braces on.. it looks damn ugly.. but.. i got to accept it as part of my life. The way to survive is to adopt and adapt. I can live with it, is not as though half of my face is gone. I still can bear with the little discomfort and the tedious brushing teeth sessions.
The time to brush my teeth = the time i take to bath. That's how tedious and time consuming. I've got this feeling whenever i brushes my teeth. I'm like washing a toilet bowl.. =_= i've got two toothbrush, one to brush my teeth like how everyone does, the other one is the super micro mini brush that suppose to clean between the wire or bracket (whatever you call it) and my teeth. So make sure no food is stuck there. well.. time consuming.. juz like how 5 stars hotel stuff clean their toilet bowl, brushing every inch of that dirty toilet bowl.
enough of my grumbles, here are the pictures.
photos of bren, calin, karen and me... =)
smileeeee...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY GER!!!!!
It's yuling's birthday... haha... Happy sweet 22nd birthday to u!!!
I'm so sorry that i'm stuck with all those projects and tests.. couldn't meet u over the weekend. We shall meet up towards the end of march ya? after my projects and before my exams.. haha..
Wish you all the best and hope that happiness will follow u wherever u go!! =)
*kisses*
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
As much as i wanted to graduate next year, i got to admit that my resume is like a pile of shit. There's no significant or wonderful internships i've done. There's no big company names to support my already-lousy grades and resume. Time for me to start writing and sending out my cover letters and resume. Time for me to start working. Perhaps, after the internship, i would feel studying is indeed much more enjoyable than working life.
Sometimes i wonder, where would i be if i didn't enter smu. UOL? maybe.. but i dun think i would study in there. Perhaps i would be started working. whatever it is... time to get back to my assignments and study.. got to finish them before my 7pm project meeting. Crap...
No lifeeeee....
Monday, March 05, 2007
I was so tired today that i feel asleep on to couch at library level 2... I heard that there were many ppl luffing at me.. DIULIAN.. haiz...
I challenged KFC today and managed to chew bits and pieces of the chicken after tearing them. Hmm.. i look like a kid though. Eating is now a tiring chore for me and i dread it when my stomach starts calling for food.
I'm too tired to type anymore things here..
Saturday, March 03, 2007
i swear the most painful part is brushing ur teeth. arggghhhh....
the braces really torture me... i tried to listen to those interviews i did, trying real hard to get my transcripts out.. but.. the teeth is so painful that i juz couldn't concentrate.. damn it... i need to get it done before the project meeting tomolo morning..
I think i seriously need to hibernate myself to get over this painful period.. but i got project meeting from like 9 in the morning.. another project meeting after that.. i guess the earliest i could leave the school would be 7pm. This is juz the beginning.. the game has just begun.. =_=
Friday, March 02, 2007
The starting of my braces treatment...
It isn't fun... the teeth feeel strained, as though they gonna drop out anytime.. well... 1 more year of braces and then i will be able to go for my jaw surgery... I can't wait for all these to be over..
Call me the braces girl!!!!
