Dainty Diva
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
For the past few nights, I kept crying.. for anything else, but her. On one night, i hated him so much that i can't wait to attend his funeral.. then i slowly cried myself to sleep.. On the second night, i dreamt of her, but i couldn't make up what was the dream about. i woke up and started crying all over again.. finally, last nite was more peaceful than any other nite... I'm praying for her.. hoping that she's happy and loved..
Things are not goin smoothly for me.. i kept reading. I guess it's the only few times when u get to hear that i'm actually reading a storybook. I realy dislike the life i'm having now... so i rather marvel at how beautiful other ppl's story are and be happy for them.
time i get back to my storybook.. my life is almost empty now.. no fun, no joy, nothing worth mentioning...
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
i dunno how things would be like... haiz.. i'm afraid things wun be as easy as i thought...
my pimples are popping out one by one as though they are contagious, or in fact, i guess they are highly infectious... hate them... sucky...
haiz.. i'm praying hard.. that things will be okie.. although somehow i can sense that things will not be okie... haiz...
Sunday, May 28, 2006
last nite, when i was on my way to Plaza singapura for X men movie, i turned to louis and told him abt the jerk.. abt how he broke his promise. I guess all of us are experiencing intense hatred towards him.. he dunno how angelic is our weiling.. Indeed, i hate him, very much. I was holding back my tears when i was complaining to him... i guess louis din wan to make any comment bah, or is it that that traffic was too heavy for him to think abt what i say.. no matter what it is, at least i feel better after that..
After weiling's incident, everytime i see motorcyclist riding at high speed. I can't help but to tell louis why ppl dunno how to cherish his life and think for the pillion... Louis once made fun of me and wound down the window, he said "tell him lor!" IRRITATING... haha... but he cheered me up.. =) Haiz... i guess we are still not in the position to point at him and educate him the importance of life.. He wun understand.. coz he is never near death before.. He merely juz lead to the death of a ger, who might not even stand a very important placce in his heart.. He is too ignorant, too selfish to learn that how important she is to us..
Enough of that bastard.. now i should be proud to say that i bought sth cheap and effective.. Bought the cyclax mask that the podders are raving about. Ya, it really works. It's pretty effective and most importantly, it's very cheap!
well well well... no mood to blog le lahz.. i need money... haiz...
Saturday, May 27, 2006
read jiayi's blog... sometimes i wonder.. how can ppl break his promise juz after 3 months... In order to see weiling for that last time, he promised that he will cherish his life and sell his bike away.. 3 months later.. he can actually get himself a new bike... thats not the way to treat someone he feel guility towards for causing her death directly or indirectly, which i feel is more pf a direct connection than a indirect one.
Jiayi was cursing and swearing... calling him a jerk... in fact i guess, she is still calling him a jerk. I feel that he is worse than a jerk. How can someone be so cold blooded.. how can he cause so many ppl to lose her and still break his very last promise he made to uncle and weiling...
I still remember what he said to weiling.. he told weiling to wait for him... Wait for him? Is he worth it? I'm speechless... he is way beyond words can ever describe.. call him a jerk, bastard, idiot, fcuker.. he is far worse than that.. he is someone who dunno how precious life is, someone who dunno how to cherish ppl ard him, someone who dunno how wonderful our weiling is, someone who is so selfish and self centered, someone who shouldn't call himself a man nor a human being.. coz he is a beast..
Jiayi asked u once.. Is it worth it? Now i'm asking u again... Is it really worth it?
Friday, May 26, 2006
Today is no way better than yesterday... Speechless.. No one cares anyway...
Leave me alone... juz let me recover myself...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
My sky has fallen... it hit me hard on my head.
When i woke up today, i was feeling down... I woke up and stoned for a while and then go back to my bed. I couldn't sleep, i couldn't cheer myself up.. I forced myself to get ready for the appointment i had with huiling.. I looked at the mirror, trying to force a smile, but i couldn't. I looked at the mirror, looked at the disgusting bloated face of mine, the elephant thighs i have, the disgusting big waist i've got... I hate myself..
Went to the orchard road... walked here and there with huiling, trying to find a birthday present.. but i've got no mood to look at them.. When ppl look at me, i stared at them... I became a nasty freak..
went for the facial.. i juz behave as though i was sleeping.. din wan to utter a single word.. i was absolutely feeling depressed... After i finished my facial, it was pouring.. the sky was dark, as though it was falling.. i strolled in the rain, from angelsky to plaza singapura.. i'm like an idiot, i guess i'm an idiot..
It was only 4.15 when i reached PS and i suppose to reach Tanjong pagar at 6.30... well.. I've got to rot, hence i shopped from the basement up to the top level and then from the top to the basement.. i stoned, i rot, i sat down, i sigh... i did all i can.. but time was passing real slowly... I'm juz like a kid who is sitting there aimlessly, trying to find things to do...
Got to tanjong pagar, attended the lamest talk... then i can't wait to get out of the place, so i left the form there and forgot to collect it back. I remember all these things onli when i was sitting at the bench, waiting for my train.... I reluctantly got out of the station and make my way back to the office..
For the whole day, i din eat anything... i merely drink some water and milo... well.. perhaps i will be slim down as well... The whole day is lame.. the whole day is sucky.... arGh!!! i can't wait for the day to end... and i seriously need to work and money...
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I finally decided not to be lazy and post some photos.. hahah.. anyway, we took really little photos as we are busy shopping. Besides that, we dun even dare to tell the local ppl to take photos for us.. so!!! we onli have these few pathetic photos..
The photo below is my "buys" on the first day... I'm sorrrie becoz I only take photos of these "buys" on the first day!! hahaha..
We then went to suan lom... and drank some beer.. and look at his face..!!! so cute!! hahaa
In bangkok, we often lost our way and practically dunno where the cab driver is bringing us to... the onli building and cue that we have to indicate that we are near our hotel is this tall tall high rise building!!!!! Baiyoke sky... hahaa
on our last day of the trip, we went to the condom and cabbage.. nice food, nice service, nice ambience too... In fact, is the nicest meal we ever have in BKK.. hahaa..
hehehee.... thats all lahz.. was busy shopping and was so tired when i went back to hotel!! hehee... sorrie arhz!!!
Monday, May 22, 2006
I'm back from bangkok... bought many many stuff.. so much that they can't fit into my luggage... but i'm too lazy to post pics on what i bought... hahaa...
ANyway, today morning, my last day in bangkok, i found myself crying when i was awake.. Guess what i dreamt of? I dreamt of weiling.. i din get to see her... What happen in my dream was that it was her funeral and her mum was crying and crying... everyone was weeping... I only remmeber all these, nothing more. When i woke up, i realised i cried in my dreams and i found tears on my face...
Anyway.. i'm really tired.. and the trip is fun... =)
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I am feeling real bored.. When i'm bored, i will visit all my friend's blog to see how they are doin.. I am bored for almost every day, so i'm doing blog reading for every other day..
In jinglun's blog, he mentioned abt music talent such as playing piano and guitar.. This reminds me of her...She was so proud of herself for being able to play one song.. the same old song.. Then, at the later part of his blog, he mentioned that how he wished he could learn to play cannon in D and shan hu hai... these two songs, both are her favourites..
Read joyce's OD, got to know that she visits her on a weekly basis.. At this point of time, i feel guilty... for not visiting her, for not being there on her last day of funeral, for not being there to send her off... i'm selfish.. alwayz the selfish one... I really dun like the feeling that someone dear is leaving me for good.. I hate to send ppl off at the ariport, let alone bid her goodbye for good.. I'm sorry weiling... u will alwayz be remembered.. i will alwayz be missing u..
It's too late for me to say all these.. wonder if u will hear what i said... read what i wrote.. If u do, i juz wan to apologise... I'm sorry girl..
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Flying off in 2 days time... my luggage is not even half filled, but i'm goin to fill it up with lots and lots of things.. hehehee... I really hope that there will be lots and lots of things to buy. I'll shop till i drop!!! hehee...i shall post the pics and what i buy from bangkok when i come back... lalala... let u all jealous!! hehee..
**Happy**
Sunday, May 14, 2006
My trust is being misplaced... next time i should juz trust myself bah.. haiz... Now i have less money to spend in thailand.. freak... and i'm now damn broke... haiz...
have being on bad luck... sway...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
........ huiling said thaat my old hairstyle nicer... even hanwei also say last time hairstyle is nicer... hmm... can i ahve more views from more ppl?!! haiz... i wan my hair back....
i guess i will be takiing ugly photos in bangkok.. coz i am ugly...
Friday, May 12, 2006
I managed to get home despite the heavy heavy rain! My head is so heavy and i guess i really deprive of sleep. I should be getting my beauty sleep now. I have been feeling down since yesterday and it's definitely not a good sign.
I'm very very tired.. i'm very very down.. it's time for me to get some sleep before things get worse...
well well well... i'm suppose to be in bed... suppose to wake up at 5am.. What am i doin here?! good question and a usual answer. Insomnia. I dunno why i can't sleep on the night before i work. Perhaps i'm used to sleeping late. Maybe I'm still not tired... CRAP.. I'm freaking tired, juz that i couldn't get to sleep!
Louis is still mahjonging.. wish him good luck!!!!
I was so bored that i went thru my past entries, starting from november 2004. At that point of time, i'm juz starting my 3rd year in ngee ann hahaa... Back to those times, they were fun, busy and torturing. As i looked back, i realised i'm juz like filming mission impossible, those assignments back then were crazy and seems impossible to complete!! I went thru them, happy to find many friends, happy to know porkies who accompanied thru my 3 years, the class of freaks in my third year and the hanwei, yuling, weixiang and judy who gave me so much laughter...
As i read thru those postings, i realised that i alwayz wanted to watch fireworks. I managed to catch it for the new year countdown.. pretty and sweet.. esp with louis ard.. =)
Enough of all that.. i wan to sleeep lahz!!!! i really really wan to sleep... but i can't sleep... oh no... this is crazy.. =[
Thursday, May 11, 2006
well.. woke up feeeling stone.. it dun seems to be a good day for me..
Woke up and faced my com for 6 hours before i went over to my auntie house... reached there.. my nieces gave me hugs and kisses.. at least they cheered me up a little.. my auntie gave me a hongbao for my thailand trip.. my auntie really dote on me.. at least the family warmth cheered me up..
Louis is busy for the whole day.. morning went jogging with andy, then evening met up with his JC friends.. in the nite has Mahjong with his army friends.. well done... haiz... he dun even have time to call me.. sianz...
grumbling.. i've been grumbling for the whole day.. working tomolo.. today i'm really feeling down.. very very down.. haiz...
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Hmm... today after my work, went to orchard to meet louis.. We then went to far east for his hair cut.. and he look super cute and toot in his short hair.. maybe i juz not used to it.. haha.. anyway... pegs and huiling want to see my new hairstyle.. well.. all i can say is that wax creates miracle!!! haha.. i manage to style my hair to make it presentable.. Sorry gers.. u all dun get to see the normal hair!! haha... i onli took pics with the styled hair hahaa...
Here they are!!
My face is super round.. i look like those hamsters which stuffed food in their cheeks... haiz...
Ohz... and the photos taken!!! Louis And Me!~!!
As u all can see.. i've got double eyelid on one eye... that's my left eye... i wan a double eyelid on my right eyelid too!!! i bought the double eyelid glue and i will use it!!!! hahaa... I'm a vainpot... lalalaa..... AND the stupid picasa is not compatible with my MAC apple... haiz.. so i have to post those photos one by one... haha...
Hmm after Louis's hair cut, we went for our lunch!! hhaaa... yummy yummy teppanyaki.. haha.. nice nice.. but i still craving for my kway chap... I wanted to eat it since a few weeks back.. Hope my naggings will force louis to bring me kway chap.. haha... *praying*
Monday, May 08, 2006
I was alone today at work.. brenda was not working... hmm.. anyway... i was stationed at the arrival hall of terminal one and there were many flights from bangkok today... most of them are like carrying 3 to 4 luggage.. haha.. i guess i will be like them when i return from bangkok...
Well.. today was boring.. very boring,.. walking up and down the terminal one.. talked to 1 of the staff.. sat down at the chair... Finally after my work, i went to meet huiling.. she wanted to get sth.. well... at least i saw her today.. she's still alive and kicking hahaa... juz that she slimmed down quite a bit... hmm.. she told me that she got an injection on her butt today... hahaha.. swollen butt.. haha...
lalalaa... i was sleeping on the train when we are on our way back.. and that idiot keep taking photos of me sleeping.. i noe it, i can feel it... but i got no strength to stop her.. and can't be bothered hahaa... Oh!!! When we are shopping for the gift, I saw his pair of heels.. gorgeous!!! 32 bucks at VNC... then i saw the white nike bag.. 90 bucks.. they easily add up to 120 bucks.. disgusting.. i hate myself for goin shopping.. i can't do window shopping.. i noe myself..
After bidding huiling goodbye, i went for a haircut.. i regretted.. i should listen to louis and go back to alan.. haiz.. my hair now look so ugly.. lalalalalaa.... all my bangkok photos will be ugly... shit... regrets...
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Nothing special happened for the past few days.. except that i've changed the hotel for the bangkok trip...
Everything seems to be at peace.. everything seems to be fine, following the routine day after day... I guess i'm seriously lacking of sleep and bbecoz of that, i appear to be a sick girl lying on my bed for almost 24 hours..
hmm.. anyway, went for the MI3 show after a good long nap in the evening.. a nice show which would give me heart attacks from time to time.. the plot and storyline is very good.. those actions. those mission planning and execution, those stunts, those shooting scenes... everything made the tickets worth its price..
Before the show, Louis and I entered the arcade and he played those games which have handphones and PSP as prizes... He said it is exciting.. while i say it is dumb... The skill and accuracy are not required in the games, the games and machines are programmed in a way that the xxth player would be able to get the prize.. it's all about attracting people to keep throwing in $1 after another.. Hmm.. maybe i dun like to play things which i feel has low chances of winning.. i'm not a adventurous person..
Tired.. juz woke up at 4pm.. and now i'm feelin tired.. backk to my bed again,... =|
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
well well!!!! i went to book my tix to bangkok!!! yeah!!!!!! 5 days 4 nite @324, including singapore airport tax.. hahaa... But what is sad is that i will be reaching Bkk at only ard 12am... booo... but nvm... we can go chinatown for some shark fins first.. hehehe....
lalalaa.... but i'm dead tired lahz... i need more sleep.... haiz... i have been losing my appetite ... i have been eating those snacks for few days... haiz... i dunno why.. i'm losing my pleasure in life -food. lalala... i get to work tomolo too!!! hahaha... yeah yeah yeah... i got money!! and i can go bangkok and sppppppenddd... spreeee.!!!!
My cousins were saying that i should bring an ultra big luggage with me.. and they are goin to lend me theirs!! hahaa.. yeah!!! good... hahaha...
Oh... i think this coming weekend will be catching the Mission Impossible... coz louis has been waiting for that and finally is here... My head is spinning.. time for me to sleep... I wan to tok to brenda... where is she...... =(
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
started off work today... Din sleep for the whole and dropped dead in the train when we are on our way back home... It is nice to work with close friends... coz u wun feel lonely.. time also passes very easily... hmm.. i have a nice boss and nice job.. not bad...
*yawnz* i juz woke up and i'm still feeling tired.. i'm goin down to the agency tomolo for the bangkok thingy... my louis want to go asap.. while i really need money before i can spreeeee in bangkok.... I'm so excited!!! and lookin forward to the trip... ehehee...
long long time since i meet up with louis... got a few days le bahz... it seems like we are meeting once a week.. hahaa... as what bren say.. it is not the quantity , is the quality that counts... hahaa... i'm happy... very happy indeed..
i've got a good job
I've my bren with me
I'm meeting louis
I'm goin to bangkok!!!
Every one of the mentioned can make me smile whole day!!!!
Monday, May 01, 2006
hmmm... saw this at jocelyn''s blog.. feeling bored.. and intend to try it.. let's see how true is it.. i guess for some of the test, only louis can answer me...
| You are a Great Girlfriend |
 When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too! |
WOnder if this is true...
| You Have Him Totally Hooked |
 Your guy is all yours - and happily so. He loves being around you, and he totally sees you as a couple. It looks like you two have a great future together - if you want it! |
Oh god.... check this out....
| You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
| You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls |
 You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl. |
| You Are a Good Girl |
 You are 80% Good and 20% Bad Generally speaking, you're a very good girl. (But you don't have us totally fooled!) |
Oh.. should i say i'm 80% a good girl.. or a good boy instead.. oh no.. what am i....
My result sux... everything is not goin well every since last nite... kaoz... damn.... i really dun like the area where my house is situated... so many weird encounters...
I got 2 A- and 2 Bs..... my whole semester is screwed up... now is having thunder and lightning... and i fell sick.. i dunno what's the correlation between the encounter and being sick...
fever... body aches... feeling weak... i took my med... but things are not getting better... I took the med... but i dun feel hungry.. i dun feel like eating... a good chance for me to go on diet...
I'm once again alone at home... where the others go? i dunno...
I'm unlucky... that's all i can say... good things dun come to me.. but bad things do... not one but many..
I saw unclean things..
I got bad results...
I dun dare to sleep...
I'm trembling with fear..
Things are turning bad...
I'm alone...
i'm being left alone in this room... afraid to off the lights..
timid.. i am...
sad.. i am..
regretful.. i am...
lost... i am..
