Dainty Diva
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
GONE... this one eis really gone... i can't even ans half of the paper... haiz.. my gpa is gonna drop like shit... i can foresee a C... How scary it is.. No mood to talk.. i really can't get over this.. coz i really studied.. i really did..
This sem is like shit.. very very shitty...
It's so dark and cold in this bloody place.... juz like the canopy layer in the tropical forest.. and i'm right down there as a shrub...
There u go... Goodbye...
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
FUCK YOU...
My jaw dropped when i look at the bloody result page for my CAT module... i dun understand how the hell would I get a B for being above the average for mid term test and i fare reasonably okie for my assignments. My project are one of those that the prof commented that it was well done.. and now i got a bloody B..
I simply dun understand how could it be possible.. I was expecting at least a B+, even when i got my B+, i could only maintain my GPA for a Cum laude.. now is like.. gone... I wun feeel so angry and disappointed if i haven't put in effort and time in doing it well. But is like... i got a B for my MA, fine.. i admit my MA is like shit.. I got a B for my comms, i agree that my both spoken and written english are disastrous... but is like.. CAT lehz..... AIYO i dun understanddddd....
HAiz.. now it's time for cognitive dissonance to come to play.. I shall console myself that at least i met a helpful and good friend who is alwayz willing to lend me a helping hand before I fall to death... At least i noe that insanity and baldness are positively correlated and it's time for me to generate some good karma before i lose my hair. DAMN YOU... i mean it... i truly mean it...
Monday, November 27, 2006
My mind kept wondering off while i was studying for my finance.. and it's just not my cup of tea. I've got no interest in watching the price rise and watching the stock price drops.. I've got no interest in how the market beta is related to the market risk premium.. how they rise and fall, in the end will fall back to that Security Market Line.. they all sounds like theories to me.. sth that i couldn't picture them to see how they works.. I guess i'm not that "guy" afterall to fall in love with finance.
I looked back at my past archives.. reading thru the countless complains i had during my poly time and luff at how bad they sounded... A few weeks back, i was telling myself that i couldn't make it to see my week 14, yet Me and bren managed to survive thru those tough times..
Now as i looked back.. I smiled. Lost some friends here and there.. but really thankful to keep few important ones. Someone i knew since secondary 1, who was on the other side of the phone hearing my cries when i broke up with my ex. =) I realized how much i blog abt me and my ex, where we went and stuff like that... but now.. everyday is sch.. i see louis in sch, met him for lunches, sometimes dinners, and some suppers, then a movie once every fortnight. Thats all.. i haven got the chance to walk down orchard road.. Nothing fantastic to blog about.. i din really spend his birthday with him too.. That's how cruel SMU is.. This new batch of students are CHAO Mugger, mainly from good jcs, with WOAH A level results.. I wonder how will the next batch be...
haiz.. now really lucky got bren.. to help and suffer along with me in this school... haiz.. i've got driving lesson tomolo, then my exam on wed, another one on saturday... Oh god... Can't wait for my weekends to come..
I need to sleep.. but i can't get to sleep... I wanted to take my flu med for my running nose, but i don't dare to do so as i'm afraid i wun be able to wake up tomolo.. Crapzz...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
i've got this exam illness.... flu and sore throat...
I'm getting flu almost everytime my exams are drawing near... AIyO.. For today, i juz kept sleeping.. fell into deeep deeep sleep.. can't wait for all these shit to be over....
I wan to go shopping!!! damn..
HUILING ARh.. i will call u once my exam over lahz.. coz now i learning drviing and studying for my exam.. =| Oh ya... Amelia juz found me in friendster... hmm.. really find back a long lost classmate.. hahahaa...
Friday, November 24, 2006
well welll welllll..... 4.46am... finally rushed some shit out before the dateline tomolo... poor bren has been working on reports for days, rushing one after another. We are like fireman, trying to put out those fire before they burn our butt... then after all the reports, will be the final exams...
I dun dare to think about my finance... i dun dare to think about my technology and world changes module..
these two modules seems to be from outerspace and are far beyond what I can study....
I seriously need to stop aiming for the impossible-Magna CUm laude. I tink i got a cum laude i can luff till my teeth drop... =|
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Blinded by the annual statemnets... those numbers, NPV, discounted cashflow, and those bloody expenses are driving me nuts.. i really dun understand why marketing need to input finance stufff.... The company is so big!!! why can't they pass it to the finance department.... bloody helll...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Today is finally more or less over, 2 presentation done, 1 report down... tomolo shall be another presentation and report... hmm...
was quite disappointed with the grades... suan le bahz... shall do better in the coming term paper... i miss my bed... i wan to get to bed.. shall go over to bren house later for finance report which is due tomolo... shittty stuff... and the report is not even half done... haiz...
i need some sleeeeep....
Monday, November 13, 2006
Dun wish to talk, dun wish to think.. all i wanted to do is hide in my own space with my soft toys, let me drift away from these cruel datelines that i got to meet.. I wan those smoothing music.. i wan my own space.. i need a comforting hug, to smell the familiar scent of him..
All these are not happening.. coz i can even dreamt of finance SML line in my dreams... crappp.. thats how crap it is..
From time to time, i need to pinch myself, to make sure i'm alive, to make sure i can breathe thru the stacks of books covering me..
--- Conversation between my dad and me ----
dad: If i know u will study until like that, i rather you go to work.
me: Now is already too late.
Dad: hai.. see u so study until so cham, but why you still gain weight?
Me: coz your daughter has been eating books.
Dad: is better than u eating air in future.
Very very constructive... thank you dad... but it is not funnie.. but suddenly, i got the feeling of crying.. i'm self-pitying myself again... Pms.. it muz be.. PMS...
i'm feeling really really down... juz stay away...
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Yesterday was Louis Birthday... but we truly stayed in sch till 11.45... HOW COOL and ROMANTIC.. Poor him.. he was trying to rush out his project, while i'm on the other side of the sch trying to figure what WHAT IS FINANCE and market beta... while bren is at home struggling with the different excel sheets that everyone has been trying to do... but NO analysis.. everyone of us dunno how to analyse the findings.. haiz..
and the only guy in our grp is like a monkey.. can't do work for nuts.. ACT as though he can do.. but we need to clear his shit... I think he dun deserve to be a guy at all lahz... haiz...
Now i am being a very good gf... accompany louis to school... while he meet his groupmates for the meeting, i stayed in the library to finish up the finance and try to analyse more data...
Poor chris.. we have been bugging him with all kinds of stupid questions.. and he got a hard time explaining to us... well.. we shall stike off that asshole name and put urs instead...
Thursday, November 09, 2006
my school library juz join in the 24 hours clan.... A 24 hours Library right smack in the middle of the city.. HOW COOOOLL... What can this tells us about SMU culture....
... i got this quote from my friend: If enough of us stop mugging, smu will be a much better place.
I truly agrreeeeeee.....
take some time off by blogging and venting some of the grievances that has been accumulating and accumulating over time.. this is what it is called compounded grievances.. the amazing thing is that it is compounded in every minute.. so it juz keep goin...
Haiz... i juz took like 4 hours to understand the bloody finance which actually at the end of it, i dun really do understand.. idiotic... And i got to study for my marketing quiz which is tomolo as welll... cups and cups of tea, packets and packets of tibits, bars and bars of chocolate... they can keep me sane and stay reasonably awake to start reading the thick textbooks.
Those smiley photos and friendly professors that all of u all saw on posters and websites are all fakes.. Now whenever i step into schools, students are like walking zombies.. Not those happy and active students u all see on the posters.
GSRs are like occupied, even into late nights.. Ppl are typing on their laptop from morning till late night.. my school's foodcourt's business is getting better and better as we move into the week 12 and 13 when all datelines gash towards u like a tsunami wave.. almost everyone is taking at least 2 meals in school, some even 3 or 4, considering they stayed over in school...
Smu is promoted as a stress free campus.. the stress there is indeed free.. everyone gets a fair share of it.. Time to get back to my marketing.. my GPA is gonna drop like dead bees, and maybe i can forget abt international exchange programme...
Monday, November 06, 2006
i guess i really lose the motivation to work hard.. Back in poly, i strived to get into uni.. i worked hard... When i'm a teenager, i worked hard to get as much sales as i can, to earn the money for those beautiful things that i alwayz wanted. Out of my stubbornness, i decided to be financially independent... to lessen the financial burden for my family.. now as i think back, i'm a far more sensible and hardworking kid back when i'm 16 or 18... so what is happening to me now...
Now in Uni, i lost my motivation to work hard.. coz a good cert dun necessarily guarantee a good job... GPA isn't a strong reason for me to put in extra effort... I'm so NUA... like those mud along the road... aiYo....
Enough of the whinings, get back to my readings... Until now i haven even finish 3/4 of what will be tested tomolo.. wish me luck.... haiz...
Saturday, November 04, 2006
reports are piling up ... everyone is making the same comment.. there is A LOT to do, not having A LOT of time to complete... It's the first time i got so much on hand thaat i dunno which to start with.. coz almost all gona due on the same week or the next. lalalaa... I'm not getting stressed out yet.. i juz trying to clear as much as i can.. i am like those road cleaners.... the leaves of the trees will keep failling, and all i can do is keep sweeping, to stop it from flooding the road..
I learnt something... Paranoid only cause things to get worse... coz i can't concentrate on what to do, to do my best... so juz handle on at a time.. take a deep breathe and go on to the next... typing and typing... since morning i have been sitting in front of my com to type, pause to click on links, then start typing.. wah,... how miserable it is... I need to go out shopping lahz...
OOOhz!!! i might be goin to hongkong on dec hols!!!! my sweeet dear says that he dun mind topping up to those i have and bring me out to relax.. hahaa!!! so excited.. if nothing goes wrong, will be goin off with peipie and andy.. i got someone to go shoppping with mee... and peipei is clearing those hotel and air tix booking shit for us.. poor u.. i promise i will come up with the plans and programs if we manage to get the hotel....
YEAH!!!! one month from now!! i shall be freeeeee!!!!!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Ger, We will alwayz be missing u... it has been 9 months... but memories still stay fresh... and u are still as pretty as ever..
Love you... =)
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
got back my bone scan, no more growth and no degeneration... well.. means that i can proceed on with my braces... and a bad news strikes me... Dr yap, suggested me to go for Orthognathic Surgery, as in the jaw correction. he is one of the best and most trustworthy doctor i've ever met and i seriously respect what he say. He will alwayz ask if i got financial probs, if not, spend 3k or so and get the jaw corrected. with the money spend, it will accompany me for life....
Read in the forum, it will take like 2 months to heal... and the mouth and chin will look like 2 big taiwan sausages after the operation. It will take like 1 month for the swell to go down.. and i can onli take fluid on the first 2weeks, soft food for the next 2 weeks.. i can only take semi solid food in the 2nd month... torturing lehz... esp when i alwayz eat and eat... aiYo...
i really wan to go, coz i dun wan to wait till 10 y ears later i regret for not goin. money can be earned back, but a nice smile and profile will alwayz accompnay wherever i go...
vainpot, maybe i am.. but i juz wan to shift my jaws back to the original position where it used to be, before my 17 years old, when the jaws start degenerating...
