Dainty Diva
Monday, June 27, 2005
finally... i fall sick... after working for consecutive 15daes, I'm knocked out too... down with with a flu and cold... feeling cold and hot... feeling weak and aching all over.. my fever has not subside even after taking medicine.. i measured my temperature, once twice and thrice... it's still 38.4... is 2 daes mc enouf?? argh... i'm feeeling really terrible... vomitted out whatever i've eaten..
he's busy the whole dae... onli called me at ard 2pm.. a call lasted not more than 1 min.. is that enough...?? I realli feeling terrible... all i noe is that i realli hate u.. hate ur job.. hate ur everything... if i've the choice to choose again... i will not walk this way... never never will i...
Friday, June 24, 2005
I realli feel.. i've lost everything.. lost touch with everything.. everyone..
Met with with porkies and wanqi and oli on tues.. suddenly i feel... i realli dunno what they are talking abt.. i juz kept quiet eating my food... i feel distant.. i realli feel as if i'm invisible.. i dun even noe abt joyce.. i dunno sandra had changed her job.. i dunno jiayi is facing prob.. i dunno everything.. so.. wats the real prob with me.. i'm losing all my friends... i'm gettin more and more lonely.. moving a step towards the world of me.. onli me..
To me.. what they are talking abt.. i realli can't join the talk.. abt their job.. abt their life.. sandra getting married all that.. but.. i'm sitting facing joyce.. both of us juz din talk.. i've tried to join in... but i realli feel unable to continue.. i hate that kind of feeling... soon i guess.. i will slowly drift apart... landed on a island name my own sweet world...
Becoz of the bloody job.. i had lost my time to accompany my friends.. i had no time for adrian... no time for my family.. on off daes.. all i realli need is sleep... i can sleep for almost 15 hours on my off daes... no one can understand how tired i am.. for being on the battlefield.. fighting for sales.. surviving without off daes for more than 16 daes.. thats for half of the month... with many of the daes working full shift... standing for more than 10 hours.. who can understand?? who realli show concern?? no one... no one noes... perhaps everyone is facing their probs at work... some even worse than me.. but at least they got the time to go on the internet or call someone up to talk... i din even have the time to go shopping.. so do u think i have time to call ppl?
all i can sae is that i'm tired... realli sick and tired to the extend i wanted to curse and swear... why heaven treat me like that... even for my eyes.. they are not recovering... even after so many operations.. so what the hell is goin smoothly for me... why should i be contented with what i have... why should i continue to see the doc... if this is the case.. let me be blind.. i have no more money to spend on my eyes.. i'm running low... running dry... i hate u... i hate everything.. i hate everything.. Damn sucky life...
Sunday, June 19, 2005
While all my friends are shopping till they drop... i'm there working till i drop.. i just reached home not long ago.. i worked from 1pm to 12am... Fantastic... haiz... i seldom have any off daes... even if there is... it is never enough for me... for example, on fri... i wanted to get my hair dyed.. i wanted to meet huiling to shop for her birthdae present coz i realli dunno what she realli wan.. i rather get sth she wants then to get sth that she dun like.. she got weird weird taste.. then i tot of meeting hanwei coz he juz able to book out after the 2 weeks... then i wanted to go make my specs.. then i need to go with my cousin coz she will be able to help mi get them at a cheaper price... oh my god... so much things to be done on one stupid off dae...
I'm realli drained... i need more rest... while i'm complaining.. why am i here?! Coz.. i dunno.. i dunno why i came online.. i guess i realli need to rest already... after 14 daes of tedious work.. my brain is complaining.. my bones are cracking.. my heart is stopping... i need some rest...
And... why the hell is my eyes still red... even after the operation... why i'm still unable to wear my contacts lens? i wan to look nice on my grad ceremony!!! i want to!! Oh ya.. met shixiu that dae as he came over to my counter to look for me... he changed alot... he grew taller.. much more taller.. tanner... more man... better dress sense... and more handsome.. he has alwayz been.. but now the boyish look had radiating with the masculine feeling... hehe.. nice nice...
I wanted to change my outlook.. which means i need to spend more money to buy clothes.. no money le lahz... haiz... i'm dying...
Thursday, June 09, 2005
i need everlasting rest daes... i need to rest arhz.. i had rested for three daes and it seems that i'm still very tired.. reluctant to go back to work.. wat happen to me manz... i realli need to switch job... very tiring... i goin to find office work... temp job... i guess it will be better... goin to work full shift tomollo... hell hell... my eyes is still sore and painful... blueblack hasn't gone yet... haiz... i need money but i need rest too..
i'm mean.. i'm a mean friend ever.. after reading huiling's blog... i'm the worst friend ever... so many surprises she have.. so many sweet gf she have.. but .. !$#$&%%.. what abt me.. mean stupid idiotic frien.. haiz... her blog make mi feel guility..
the stupid job realli make mi miss out quality time with friends and family... i will find a office job next time... when i got into SMU.. i will get a office part time job le bah... haiz... i need more quality time than money...
i'm sorry huiling... i will meet up with u le lahz.. haiz..
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
this is the photo of the eye pad after i took it down... disgusting right... how much blood i've lost... haiz.. Friends.. please noe what to do hor.. i need lots of tonic!! haha...
Taken by my niece when i'm resting... can u all see the bloody eye pad....!!!!!! pain pain!!!
hmm.. juz got home after meeting hanwei... after so long.. finally i got to see the bag hanwei bought for me.. besides the bag he bought me a pouch and a tank top.. haha... muack muackz... ai si ni le hahaa.... anyway... we were at mos burger gossiping.. ahha.. then got to knoe that jiayi is getting more and more auntie.. by choosing hp... even when hers had pronounced dead.. Hey stop being so aunite okie!!!!
Oh ya... then talked abt his NS tomolo... he is goin in tml!!! how fast.. anyway i having off tomolo... tot of sending him in... since he said that his parents will be there then i better dun go.. later they misunderstand haha...
Before writing this entry.. i was watching their tioman video clip once again... i forgot to delete them.. hehe.. I guess hor... adrian parents i guess had seen them too as i actually lend them the camera with the memory card inside.. If i'm not wrong.. i din delete those tioman photo away.. Should be his parents delete one bah.. haha.. anyway i got them in the CD already.. and.. u all really disgusting toking abt PP here and there... i pray his parents dun understand or din seen them all.. if not... they may be wondering what kind of ppl i'm mixing with.. esp jiayi!!! complain queen haha..
Oh ya... sth embarassing happened juz now... we were at mac and then i went to order ice cream.. then i wanted to earn the reward point as i had join the member.. then hor.. i shown him the card.. wanting to pay by my ez link tooo... who noes... he din let me pay by ex link.. and i duno... i walked off happily with the cone and hot fudge... back to my seat when the boy actually said i did not pay... !#$^%&%#... so embarassed... anyway.. hanwei should be more embarassed bah.. coz he got such stupid frien haha...
Oh ya... i had them all removed.. my eyes are like panda... but i'm too too tired... i need a rest.. haiz.. my eyes hurts....
Monday, June 06, 2005
.. juz watched monster-in-law... it was nice.. nicer than that lame show.. haha.. got to tok to adrian frien's sis.. haha.. coz we share nachos!
He went back to camp todae.. For the past week.. no chats.. no private time.. no shopping.. no kiss.. no hugs... Is this pathetic? haiz.. i'm juz paranoid... but i'm unhappy..
Saturday, June 04, 2005
vomited todae.. hmm.. din eat anything.. so din get to vomit anything out..
Yesterdae nite... watched madagascar... hmm.. it's not nice.. not funnie nor cute.. i din luff... adrian was sleeping beside me.. and the other side.. were his friends.. hmm... none of them laugh either.. haiz.. what can i sae...
Todae.. sales was quite alrite.. manage to open one last bill at 9.30 sharp to hit my third target.. so was quite lucky... hope everydae is like tht... i got to go Centrepoint for work on mondae and then i will be on MC till the next promotion which is 2 daes MC one dae off.. at least i got to rest..
I dunno what to sae anymore.. Juz wanted to sae happy birthdae to my dear huiling... hope she realli enjoy herself todae.. i'm the worse best frien ever.. i want to sleep... i want to rest.. i want to relax...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
i was at heeren for promotion todae.. my eyes are irritating me.. i'm feeling tired.. I saw chelsy while i was there... she was working now... she seems so happy with her current job coz she sae she was well paid.. even better paid than those uni grad.. She's working for the company which she had worked during her poly.. as the position of marketing manager... the position sounds good.. I hope.. the job is that good as well...
Many ppl are now coming in and our of their offices.. so what am i doin there... why the hell am i still a promotor... why am i sticking to the job... haiz... If uni grad realli are not well paid... why should i continue to pursue it... why should i slog my heart out for the fees then?? For all this.. i juz hope to fulfil my dream.. to see a smile on my dad face... to let him be proud of me for once...
I din get to talk to him.. for the dae before, yesterdae and even todae... is this call boyfrien? someone who dun noe much abt my daily life.. someone who juz give me a simple reply of "same" when i took the effort to msg him "i miss u". Is this all i should be treated as? What am i realli to him.. I hate it.. I got so much so much things to pour out.. to complain about.. too much.. It's realli so much that i'm now lazy to tell him from the start to the end.. it's too long.. it's too tiring..
