Dainty Diva
Saturday, January 28, 2006
smiles, greetings, food, handshakes, cheersl, joy, reunion, a brand new start.... that's all what everyone says new year is.. but to me.. i hated new year.. i've been hating it for 5 years.. it bring me painful and sad memories.. reunion dinner.. used to be so crowded and joyous.. everyone was luffing and gathering together to talk, gamble and drink.. it used to be such joyous and happy occasion... but ever since 5 years ago.. everything seems cold... each new year onli means that one year had past, one more year, since 12/09/00, the date when my uncle left.
Everything is so different... No more 2 tables of mahjong games, no more blackjack.. no more laughter.. All my close cousins were married.. hence, everyone juz came for the dinner, before another cousin of mine come, they will be leaving for their in-law side.. there's nothing known as real reunion dinner.. i missed those times when almost 15 people sat ard the table, eating together... fighting for food.. thou it was cramp, there's laughter, there's warmth.. something which is dissapearing year after year... something which everyone is talking abt, yet i juz can't feel it...
When it comes to new year.. i juz feel that someone is taking one step closer to leave me.. i dun like that feeling.. All my grandparents had passed away.. my family is too big to be gathered together.. there's alwayz someone missing... I miss those times when i'm a kid, at least i have everyone with me.. those ppl i know are there for me since i stepped into this world.. those ppl whom i respect.. those whom i failed to treasure..
It's alwayz at this point of the year.. when i really know.. how much i miss them..
