Dainty Diva
Friday, June 24, 2005
I realli feel.. i've lost everything.. lost touch with everything.. everyone..
Met with with porkies and wanqi and oli on tues.. suddenly i feel... i realli dunno what they are talking abt.. i juz kept quiet eating my food... i feel distant.. i realli feel as if i'm invisible.. i dun even noe abt joyce.. i dunno sandra had changed her job.. i dunno jiayi is facing prob.. i dunno everything.. so.. wats the real prob with me.. i'm losing all my friends... i'm gettin more and more lonely.. moving a step towards the world of me.. onli me..
To me.. what they are talking abt.. i realli can't join the talk.. abt their job.. abt their life.. sandra getting married all that.. but.. i'm sitting facing joyce.. both of us juz din talk.. i've tried to join in... but i realli feel unable to continue.. i hate that kind of feeling... soon i guess.. i will slowly drift apart... landed on a island name my own sweet world...
Becoz of the bloody job.. i had lost my time to accompany my friends.. i had no time for adrian... no time for my family.. on off daes.. all i realli need is sleep... i can sleep for almost 15 hours on my off daes... no one can understand how tired i am.. for being on the battlefield.. fighting for sales.. surviving without off daes for more than 16 daes.. thats for half of the month... with many of the daes working full shift... standing for more than 10 hours.. who can understand?? who realli show concern?? no one... no one noes... perhaps everyone is facing their probs at work... some even worse than me.. but at least they got the time to go on the internet or call someone up to talk... i din even have the time to go shopping.. so do u think i have time to call ppl?
all i can sae is that i'm tired... realli sick and tired to the extend i wanted to curse and swear... why heaven treat me like that... even for my eyes.. they are not recovering... even after so many operations.. so what the hell is goin smoothly for me... why should i be contented with what i have... why should i continue to see the doc... if this is the case.. let me be blind.. i have no more money to spend on my eyes.. i'm running low... running dry... i hate u... i hate everything.. i hate everything.. Damn sucky life...
