Dainty Diva
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Hmm... gals!!! thanks for ur care and concern.. but i'm alrite... guess i will just have to adapt and adopt.. coz... thats him...
When i read that entry again.. the feeling of sadness no longers there... But it gave me a desperate need for hope... hoping that he will just make the effort to understand how i really feel. It is time.. i reflect on myself... i guess i had been an unreasonable party as well... equally irritating.
had been trying hard to study.. but.. IB realli too taxing... i was cursing and swearing.. throwing temper at anyone who interupts me.. sorrie people... i'm too much... but the text book is too much as well.. hehe...
What am i doin here.. i too stress to sleep... believe me or not.. for the years in ngee ann i had been facing this problem.. haiz...
back to him.. back to my sadness... back to the problems... He had been busy... i had been trying to avoid... to avoid and minimise the chances of me getting sad..
Each time.. i got nothing to sae to him... trying hard to find topics.. i hate holding on to the phone like dummies... but.. i've got no choice... For the past few daes... the total time we have been on the phone is definitely less than 15 mins... I guess it's better...
Each time when i eating with him... we eat solemnly... i hate that kind of quietness... i juz can't stand it... it affects my appetite as well... i ate very little.. or even dun feel like eating.. i juz hate to face a guy who dun smile... it is cool... but it makes me feel as if... i'm making him sad.. i noe this isn't the case.. but it seems eating with me is such a chore..
On the other hand... i enjoy eating and lunch with my frienz... talking and gossiping.. but why.. the feeling is so diff.. i've eaten much much more with hanwei and jiayi they all... but with him.. i juz can't eat... i juz can't help but feel down...
watever it is... i guess things will come to an end when i started to go back to work... no time for tears, no time for dating... coz i guess he wun be free as well... perhaps it may spell the end of us.. So that he will be freed....
